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Dear Parents,
Greetings! I hope you are enjoying the spring and all the activity it brings as you anticipate with your son or daughter the end of the school year and their departure on their summer trip. It has been a privilege for me to work with your child through Student Training in Missions. STIM is one of my favorite aspects of my job because I so believe that God has much to teach us through experiences with people of other cultures. I love watching students grow through the opportunity they have to offer their gifts and talents to people around the world and to receive what people around the world have to offer them. God truly loves the nations through us and loves us through the nations!
I hope the experience of walking with your child through the preparation for going overseas has been a good one for you. I know that when I first went overseas (and it was quite a while after I graduated from college) my parents were a mix of nervous and excited for me as I prepared to lead students on a summer project in Mongolia . Watching me fundraise the many years that I have been on staff with InterVarsity has been a faith building process for them. I trust the Lord has used this experience in your life as much as that of your child.
I wanted to offer some suggestions to you to help your child transition back to the States after they return from their overseas experience. (It may seem a little early to be thinking about this, but we find it is best to think and talk about it with your child before they even leave the States!) You may be surprised to know that the transition home is often harder than the transition to a new culture overseas. This is because students often come back and have trouble communicating what they learned and experienced. Sometimes they have a hard time finding people to listen to their stories. Sometimes they are overwhelmed by the relative material wealth they return to in the States compared to what they saw and experienced overseas.
As their parents, it is good for you to be aware that the transition home can at times be difficult. This can help you set appropriate expectations for your child once they are home with you again. And there are some ways that you can help your child make the transition back home:
1. Talk to your child before they leave. What would they like their first week to be like when they get home (they may not know for sure, but talking about it doesn’t hurt!).
2. If you are meeting your child at the airport upon return, remember that they have been in another time zone, have been traveling sometimes for a day or more, and are experiencing life back in the States in a way that they have not in a month or more. THEY ARE TIRED. They may not be up for an immediate welcome home party, or all the relatives to descend on the house, or dinner out. Most likely they will want a shower and some sleep. Ask them what they would prefer.
3. You can help them get over jet lag by helping them get up in the morning at a reasonable hour, go to bed at a reasonable hour, eat healthy, and get some exercise. It may be best to let them get back on US time and get some rest before expecting them to join you on a family vacation or start a summer job (if there is time for that before returning to school.)
4. The thing your child will most need from you is your listening ear! They want to tell the story of their summer, but often find it hard to know where to begin. The question “How was your summer?” can be hard to answer because it is such a broad question. Asking LOTS of specific questions is the best way to find out what the summer was like. Here are some examples:
What was a typical day like?
What was your favorite thing about your summer experience?
What was the hardest thing about your summer experience?
What was the thing that was most interesting to you about the culture
you were in?
What is different about how people relate to each other here compared
to the culture you were in this summer?
What was the funniest or most embarrassing thing that happened to you?
What was the food like? What did you enjoy? Dislike?
What was your team like? Who were the people you were closest too?
How were your expectations about your summer met or not met?
What did you learn about yourself? About others? About God?
What are some ways you want to apply what you learned now that you are
home?
How does it feel to be home? What did you most miss about home?
What do you miss about your summer culture now that you are home?
5. You don’t have to ask all these questions at once! Consider having a couple of nights at least with your child where you ask questions about the summer. Maybe once shortly after their return, then again when the pictures are developed (if they are not already on a digital camera!)
6. Some other fun things you could consider:
If your child learned to prepare any traditional food from their summer culture, have a night where they make dinner (or at least one dish!) for you.
Look through whatever souvenirs your child returned with and ask questions about them: were they given as a gift? by whom? what was that relationship like? If it wasn’t’ a gift, what prompted them to buy this particular souvenir?
If your family and friends want to hear about your child’s summer consider hosting a little dessert and let your child tell his or her story and show some pictures to a group of people.
7. It is ok to remind your child that you had a summer too! Life in the States did not stop just because they were on a summer project. Tell them about your summer . . .
The most important thing is just to be patient and ask a lot of questions. Returning home is often as much a part of the growth process as the summer overseas. I believe the Lord is using all of these experiences to make your child more like Him.
Again, I thank you so much for the privilege of working with your child this semester. Of course I will be in prayer for them this summer, but I will also be in prayer for you this summer! May God bless you!
If there is anything I can do for you, feel free to contact me.
Sincerely,
Amy Phillips
STIM, Director
InterVarsity Christian Fellowship
116 Burkwood Lane
Raleigh NC 27609
919-673-5317
blueridgestim@gmail.com
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